Sis' Hope to Heal

I've finished our list of items lost, and it was an overwhelming, emotional struggle for me to jog my memory and think of everything that was in Matilda when she burned to the ground. I had no idea what the process would entail, and I can tell you that I never want to do that again. For it being "just stuff" it sure broke my heart into a million pieces to recall every detail. I'm not going to enjoy visiting her final resting place, and seeing the destruction of our dreams in real life.

Sis has been a basket case since she heard the news. She wept openly and with such deep sadness when she saw the pictures. I don't know how she is processing it all, but I know she's taking it very hard. We remind each other that our family is safe, and that it's okay to be sad. I wish she didn't have to feel such raw emotion at such a young age.

She came up with a plan to help us all heal, and I want to share it with you all, so that you can share it with the world, because I think it's simply beautiful. She has been wanting her own sewing machine, has been saving her money and now she has enough to buy it, and she has been wanting to quilt. Her idea? Have people from around the world send her fire department tee shirts, and tee shirt with fire related themes so that we can make a tee shirt quilt from them for each of our beds in our new Baja home. Her hope? That the love sent from everyone in the form of their tee shirts, will keep us warm and help us heal, and that we will always be comforted by the love of family, friends and strangers when we need it the most.

As you may know, her Daddy is a firefighter, and I do believe he may be taking it harder than anyone else. Of course, he internalizes it and puts up a brave front. He is our rock. But, I know that the fact that he fights fires for a living, that he helps others in their time of need, and yet, he wasn't able to help us, has shattered him. I think that an outpouring of love and friendship from the fire community would do his heart good as well.

So, if you would be so kind as to grant a sweet 8 year old's wish, to bring healing and hope back to her family's hearts through a simple donation of a fire tee shirt, please send one her way. I promise to take pictures of the progress and the final results. And if there are too many shirts, we'll make extras to give to other children that are the victims of fire loss. Please share this post and her wish far and wide!
If you'd like to help, please send the shirts to  ~ Erin VanGurp
                                                                        PO BOX 401
                                                                        Pinetop, AZ 85935

We're hoping that they will look something like this (only better, because they will be hand made by an 8 year old, her new sewing machine, and her mama)....

The Loss of Matilda

This is the story of the Loss of Matilda. Our lovely 1973 Superior Motor Home. Our favorite place on the beach. Our home in a foreign land. Our hope for a future.

On Thursday morning, January 16th, we received a phone call from our friends in Baja, that our home there had caught fire and had burned to the ground. My first reaction was a sob that broke free from my heart and escaped my lips. If anyone had heard it, besides my family, they may have thought that one of my children had died. I feel part of my soul flee, never to return.

It was (and still is) pretty shocking news, to say the least. Our home was broken into by someone, and was burned down by his carelessness as he left a cigarette burning inside (or at least that's the suspicion). The incident is still under investigation, and we wait in limbo, unable to return to Baja until March, unable to sift through her remains, unable to heal the hurt that is festering in our hearts. My family is heartbroken, all of our possessions were inside, and what is more, our family's future in our sleepy little Baja town is now unsure and tainted.

There is good news, no one was hurt in putting the fire out, and the man responsible was apprehended and was in custody, immediately following the fire. He has since posted bail, though the investigation is ongoing. We are working with our friends there and doing everything we can to ensure that this man cannot do this to anyone else. We have a long road of rebuilding our hearts, as well as rebuilding our lives in our lovely village.
It pains me that this has marred our town, and that my strong sense of security anywhere in this world has been tainted and destroyed. I'm worried for my children, as they aren't as eloquent in expressing their feelings. Erin has been in a funk for weeks, and Tristan is pretending it didn't happen, I think. I shudder at the thought of how we will react when we see the remains of our Baja life in the summer. I ache at the vision of the ashes, the shell of our home, and us, standing there in the sand, helpless, with freshly opened wounds.

it's just stuff, they say. it's just stuff.
it's just things, they say. just things.
but when the stuff is present in every single memory of that place, that time, it becomes more than stuff, more than things. it's part of an intricately woven dream, a tight web of hope and love and peace and happiness....and now it's gone.
she may not have been a person, but she had a soul, a blessed soul that we were fortunate enough to see, to feel, to breathe in. she wrapped her walls around us, and kept us safe and warm. she was our womb on the beach, our mothership in a foreign land. she was our home, our heaven on earth, our happy place.
you may be ashes and rubble to some, stuff and things to others, but to us, you were and will always be our friend, our sister.

Now, more than ever, I'm asking everyone out there to help support our "rise from the ashes" by shopping my businesses, as every penny that I make will be going towards the goal of starting over. I have also set up a gofund page, if anyone is able to donate to that. Every little bit helps!!
https://michellevangurp.scentsy.us
https://mightytasty.velata.us
www.perfectlyposh.us/MIGHTY
www.youravon.com/MIGHTY
http://mixems.com/store/affiliate.asp?aff=1471
http://www.gofundme.com/6c8m50

Thank you to everyone that has reached out to us, and for those with unspoken prayers...we appreciate you all. It's going to be difficult to start all over, but we will.
Here is our lovely Matilda, gone but never forgotten. Many happy memories within her protective walls.